Your Change Personality: Are You a Healthy Skeptic or a Destructive Cynic?

Change! It’s happening all around us, and it certainly feels like everyone’s work is changing faster than ever. So how do we approach this constant change? 

If the word “change” makes you start rolling your eyes, stay with me. I’m hoping I can convince you to leave your cynicism behind and become more open to change. My own journey away from cynicism has created a major transformation in my work and relationships.

The Bell Curve of Change Resistance

First, let’s explore the natural range of change resistance. In my experience, there’s a bell curve of people at every company.

On one end, you have the people who are excited about change. They’re leading the way and burning down the status quo on the way. We like these types, but do understand that they sometimes too quickly accept change recommendations that may not be appropriate.

In the middle, you have the “forty percenters.” They’re healthy skeptics who have questions about why things are changing and what those changes will mean, but they’re open to listening.

On the other end, you have the cynics. They’re downright hostile to change, and they’ll let you know all about it. They resist both overtly and covertly and bring enough people with them to kill some pretty good ideas.

Why Do We Resist Change?

There are a lot of old adages that explain why we naturally resist change. I hear objections like: “The old way is comfortable” and “That will never be approved, so why try?”

But there are other, more nuanced reasons that explain our uncertainty about change. Sometimes we have been trained to make decisions based on short-term thinking. Or we’re risk-averse. Or our strategy doesn’t account for much patience. 

Or, to get a little dark, maybe you know that the status quo is actually good for you personally. Change might bring positive repercussions to the overall organization or industry, but it won’t necessarily be good for you.

Above all these reasons, though, I see one common explanation: A lack of introspection. When we don’t take the time to reflect and understand our own impulses, we’ll keep viewing change as an unwelcome guest.

Why Is Resistance to Change a Problem?

So why is this natural cynicism bad? Shouldn’t we just accept that some people will be slow to accept change? 

I don’t think so, because I’ve seen how cynicism can spread within a team and become a danger to morale, momentum, the business unit, and even the enterprise itself. One only has to look at once-great companies like Digital Equipment, Compaq and Merisel to see sad examples of change resistance.

Cynics lead with “NO.” Before they even hear an idea, they are ready to fight and resist. Change and the people trying to create change are the enemy.

Instead of going into conversations with a mindset for innovation, friendly collaboration, and problem-solving, cynics come in with amity. They have their hackles up.

Looking back, I realize that in the early days of my career, I worked with an entire generation of cynics. I had managers who told me things like “Everyone in marketing is a moron,” “Legal wants to stop everything we’re doing” and “HQ wants to come in here and tell us what to do.” Their cynicism made them closed off to listening to people in different departments. Any outside involvement was immediately seen as threatening and negative.

I can tell you from experience that working with cynics is draining and demoralizing. And being a cynic is downright toxic to your happiness, health, and productivity.

Even if you are a descendant of cynics, you can change the tone and the conversation for the next generation. You can create a new pattern that leans away from destructive cynicism and leans into healthy skepticism.

How I Left My Cynical Ways Behind

I consider myself a reformed cynic. When I was a senior leader at SAP, the CEO hired a consultant from McKinsey to help solve challenges in my business. I was cynical. What could this outsider add? I didn’t need a consultant, and I didn’t want a spy in my organization.

Four meetings later, I was sold. The consultant added so much value and perspective to what I was trying to do. She reformed me by quickly earning my trust. She established her expertise very early on, showed empathy for my situation, listened to me, and did her homework. She broke down my fears. She built a team with the background and cultural elements we needed. Her team challenged us and stood up to us. They helped us. I was learning, getting better, and moving toward the cutting edge of business practices. In the span of just a few months, I moved from being a destructive cynic to being a healthy skeptic to being completely sold and excited.

It took humility to go on that journey. If I had been honest with myself from the beginning, I would have realized that my primary emotion was fear, and that fear was holding me back.

That experience taught me how to unlock other cynics and help them become less resistant to the change I’m recommending. She taught me to lead with empathy, a practice we rely on heavily today. 

(It’s no surprise that the consultant, Lila Snyder, went on to be a dynamic and successful leader. Today, she is CEO of Bose. Thank you, Lila, for helping me work through my resistance.)

How Can You Move from Cynicism to Healthy Skepticism?

If you find yourself thinking like a cynic, think about how you could reframe that hesitation into healthy skepticism. When a new idea comes up, it’s okay to hold back your support and enthusiasm until you understand and buy into it. You don’t have to be gung-ho from the get-go.

Let’s look at a potential scenario. Let’s say consultants are coming in to do a time study on you and your team. You’re the boss, and you know that your attitude will have a major impact on how your team shows up.

A cynical boss might say: “Corporate doesn’t have anything better to do. A bunch of morons coming in here to get in our way and waste my time.”

But a skeptical boss would model a different approach. They might say: “This is interesting. Maybe we can pull something useful out of the data they’re collecting. Let’s see how we can get better.”

Do you see the difference there? Approaching change with healthy skepticism makes you more open and optimistic. Instead of looking for the downsides, you’re looking for the upsides and opportunities. It’s in your own best interest to be open-minded — both in terms of the business success and for your own mental health and job satisfaction.

If you’re feeling stuck in cynicism, and you get your hackles up when you hear rumors of a change, try following these steps to stay more open-minded.

Steps YOU Can Take to Stay Open to Change

• Acknowledge the truth. Everything is changing. If that wasn’t clear before COVID, it’s certainly clear now. The people who will be highly successful will be fully energized by change. Are you going to stay the same? Or will you adapt, grow, and succeed?

• Stay curious. Try asking questions instead of shutting down. Don’t immediately put up resistance to the change. 

• Understand your own resistance. Do some introspection. Where is your resistance coming from? (Are you afraid? Are you repeating old patterns you’ve learned in your past? Are you mimicking your boss or a mentor? Are you making presumptions based on something that went badly in the past? Are you stereotyping? Do you trust and respect the people who are making the change? Are you just resisting change because staying still is easiest?)

• Break the cycle of resisting change. Try naming two positive things about the proposed change. Look for the opportunities, upsides, and silver linings. 

Succeeding in our new, fast-paced future will require completely new skills. “What got us here won’t get us there,” as they say. And what we need now is an openness to the inevitable change coming our way.