What shapes a career? Some might tell you their career was shaped by a crucial decision, a move to a dream company, or the slow progression of learning over many years. When I look back at my career, one word comes to mind: partnership.

For over 32 years, I have partnered with Carrie Maslen. Today, we have a formal partnership as co-founders and managing partners of our firm. But for most of the years, our partnership has been more informal, as peers and colleagues. And we both know that our partnership has been critical for both our success.

In a political climate that continues to divide us, and in a work climate that leaves so many feeling overwhelmed, I strongly believe that we need more partnership. Partnering with another person requires us to be reflective, humble, communicative, and understanding. In my view, partnership and collaboration could solve a lot of what ails us.

A lot has been written on the fundamentals of building and maintaining a strong partnership, but today I’d like to reflect on what partnership has meant to me.

Strong Partnership Starts with Self-Awareness

I learned early in my working life that I could only work well with others if I first committed to my own introspection and self-awareness. To be a good partner to someone else, first, you have to understand yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses, and the ways in which you can become a better partner. 

Carrie and I both came to understand our strengths and how we could combine them. We learned that when you have fundamentally different strengths, 1+1=3. Together, you’re greater than the sum of your parts. 

Our strengths and weaknesses, our similarities and differences, have aligned over time.

What we have in common: 

We are…

• Empathetic

• Predictable to each other

• Hard-working

• 100% trusting in each other. We ALWAYS have each other’s back.

• Not driven solely by money. Even though we’ve both worked in sales and marketing for more than 30 years, we’re looking for more than a sale.

• Comfortable holding others accountable.

We think…

• It’s important to give back.

• It’s important to laugh.

• Anything that is illegal, unethical, or immoral is not open for discussion. But everything else is.

• Family is everything.

 

The differences that make us stronger as a team:

• Carrie is detail-oriented and rock solid in operations. I am more focused on the big idea. 

• Carrie has a people lens. I have a financial lens.

• Carrie can focus for long periods, while I move on quickly.

Working with a partner requires the humility to identify your own shortcomings, and the confidence to bring someone else in to help you be a better version of yourself.

 

Partnership Makes Us Better

In our case, working as a team has helped both of us find better work-life balance, relieve stress, be more productive and much more fun. We have an ally who goes to bat for us, and we can help each other spot problems and challenges before they brew into a crisis. We have a partnership that puts things in perspective when one of us is out of perspective. 

Here’s an example of how partnership has helped us solve problems together. Years ago, Carrie was close to leaving my team. She was torn between being an “A” parent and an “A” teammate — a challenge that many high-achieving working parents will understand. Because I knew her so well, and I valued her contributions at work so much, we were able to hammer out a part-time arrangement that worked for a number of years.

Another example: During the acquisition of Compaq by HP, the politics of the merger was a shark tank. Carrie was my representative inside that shark tank. She was phenomenal in managing the extremely difficult and treacherous dynamic. She carefully advocated for my leadership. Without Carrie’s clear voice, dozens of the people on my team, including myself, would have been at risk.

We have been through major changes in multiple companies. Together, we’ve rolled out aggressive change agendas and fixed some pretty broken programs. I strongly believe that if we’d been working alone, we wouldn’t have been able to rise to those challenges. But as a team, we were calm and effective.

Developing a Formal Business Partnership

In 2018, Carrie and I officially started our first formal business partnership when we launched Gilroy Associates. After decades of working together, we already knew we shared the same ethical standards and a similar work ethic. We accepted each other’s idiosyncrasies and quirks (I have self-diagnosed ADD and tend to get distracted; Carrie doesn’t suffer fools gladly!). 

And when it came to this partnership, we knew we needed to build a strong foundation:

• We agreed on common goals for the business and for how we spend our time.

• We resolved to always look for the good in each other and to give each other the benefit of the doubt.

• We practiced over-communicating.

• We drafted an escalation process to resolve disagreements about the business.

 

As we face the unexpected challenges of 2020, I’m once again grateful to have Carrie as my partner. My advice to the next generation is simple:  

• Understand yourself first.

• Look for partners with similar values, but complementary skills. 

• Predictability is everything in a partnership. Hot tempers and chaos don’t have a place in a steady, long-term partnership.

• Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Always.

• Know that a partnership is not always 100% equitable. Sometimes one of you will carry the load, and sometimes you’ll pass it off to the other person. But in the end, keeping score doesn’t matter.

• Keep looking for new ways to understand the state of your relationship. Every day, ask yourself: How could I be a better partner?

• Find a way to laugh.

As you carve your path forward, consider the way partnership, either informal or formal, could make your work life more successful, more enjoyable, and just flat out better.